By 
When getting into a relationship, no one looks forward to experiencing a hard time recovering from a breakup. We always anticipate a good time with our partners. Sometimes it is so unfortunate we find our relationship experiencing ups and downs, and finally, one of the partners calls a quiet. Moving on from a breakup has proved hard to many people. Either the relationship was romantically involved or close friends, it hurts knowing the good times you were sharing will not be there anymore. The trust you had for each other can never be restored. It hurts.
Breakups are never efficiently dealt with. To some people, it might take longer than others to heal and move on. Some say time is the best healer, while others say the way you handle the breakup will determine the time it takes to heal. Though different scientists have tried to establish the average time one can take to overcome a separation, none have yet to give the exact time. So, no specific time is guaranteed to get over the difficult time.
Some studies state that getting over a breakup will take half the relationship. Some suggest that the average time is eleven weeks, while others say it is around six months. And I say that you are the one to decide the amount of time you will take to recover.
However, many distinct factors determine whether it will take you along or a short time to get over a breakup. Below are more details about the period it might take to overcome a separation. Factors that determine the time to heal, tips to help heal a bit faster after a breakup, and how to know that you have moved on.
Features determine the amount of time one will take to move on after breaking up with a partner
Infidelity
This is a very critical factor to recovering after a breakup. If a relationship ends because a partner cheated, it not only hurts but also affects your trust in other future partners. Some people get affected such that they lose trust in any other person. This betrayal trauma may even affect your mental health and stall the recovery process leading to a long recovery journey. It might take much longer to feel free to get involved with another person again finally.
Your commitment
Being committed means, you have invested a lot, if not all, in the relation. This will dearly affect you in case of a breakup, more so if you never saw it coming. You are fully committed, planning for a bright future with your partner, talking about the good things that the future holds for you two, then abruptly, you find yourselves in separate ways. It will be extremely hard to come to terms with that situation, let alone recover from that trauma.
Moreover, if you were cohabiting, it might affect you severely. You are used to that person being next to you most of the time; maybe they supported you financially. This will be an unwelcomed situation for anyone. Getting into terms that you will be living alone after being used to that person, paying all the bills by yourself, and other issues will hurt and confuse you, totally making it tougher to overcome the situation. Getting over the situation will take longer, but after working so hard on it.
Sometimes we get into a relation knowing that we are not getting into anything with our partner. Just there to feel you have someone to care for and be with. Since there will be few attachments, getting over the breakup will not be that hard though it will hurt. As time goes by, you get along with other friends and can’t even notice when or how you moved on. This scenario will not take long to overcome the breakup and move on.
Whether you dumped or were dumped
Being dumped means you are rejected, and mostly it comes as a surprise to many. When someone you thought so close to your heart leaves, it shatters your heart. This affects your nous of self-worth and makes you feel vulnerable. It becomes difficult to accept the rejection, and in the process, some fear is instilled in you. This affects your confidence proving hard to get over the breakup. It might take longer first to accept yourself, which will surely be longer to give another person a chance of being with you.
On the other hand, if you are dumping your partner, it will be pretty easy to get over the breakup. However, that is not always the case, and it will still consume some time to get over it. Maybe you didn’t leave because you never loved your partner but because you felt the relationship was not working out. You still love your partner and feel perhaps you need to maintain the relationship. This will affect you, and unless you understand that you made the right decision, you will not be able to move on quickly.
Tips to help you overcome a breakup
The essential part of healing after heartbreak is accepting the loss of the relationship. After a breakup, there are some things we need to comprehend for us to heal the wound. Here are some of them.
Understand grieving is ok
Grieving relieves the pain and gives you some comfort. Pushing the feelings down and pretending you are ok and trying to convince yourself may be easy but does not do you any good. Consuming the sadness, anger, betrayal, and despair will hurt at first, but accepting them will help you heal as time goes by. This is the first and the most critical step to start healing.
Spend time with friends
Hibernating yourself when experiencing a heartbreak adds more misery to the wound. Yes, everyone needs some time alone to comprehend and meditate about the breakup, but after grieving, the best way of healing is spending time with friends. Get involved in activities with other people, play and talk. Friends will divert your mind from the heartbreak and find yourself thinking little about the issue, which really helps.
Talking about the breakup to someone close to you will also be much better. Get a friend you trust; tell them how you feel. Express that grieve and let the person help you get it out. This enables you to heal slowly and makes you realize there is more than that heartbreak to live for. The friends will offer emotional support and provide much-needed company.
Focus on yourself
Right after the heartbreak can be hard to even think of yourself. It is acceptable to let some things slide during that period. But focusing on yourself gives a sense of pride. Look at the good stuff for yourself you were lacking and pay more attention to them. This is the highest time you need to concentrate and convince yourself. Thinking positive about yourself brings back the lost pride and helps you get through the complex situation.
Keep a balanced perspective
Mostly, we heap the blame on our partners for our breakup but forget to think over the issue and take responsibility too. Blaming partners will possibly not help in your recovery. Sometimes we are correct on blaming the ex though keeping a balanced perspective sounds wise. Instead, think of the relationship and maybe write a journal. By doing so, you get the idea of the source and comprehend it. This helps a lot in your recovery. A study shows that thinking negative about your ex only worsens the situation. If you still love them, remind yourself that it is ok and make space to experience the emotions entirely.
How to know that you are a healed person
Being able to move on again after such a difficult period is like going to the moon and back. That special feeling is more than satisfying. But how do you know that you are over the breakup? Here is how.
• If you can, think about the good moments you shared with your ex without pain.
• If you no longer fear shared activities or favorite places.
• If you feel your complete self again.
• If you can think about your ex again without being hurt.
• If you feel ready to try getting into a new relationship with other people.
Conclusion
Heartbreaks can be self-consuming, and no one ever desires to experience them. You lack a sense of love and relationships. Working them out also drains a lot from you and may even following tips that can help would do better—grieving, keeping a balanced perspective, spending time with friends and focusing on yourself aids in getting over the heartbreak. There is no feeling that can be much of a winner, and by overcoming a breakup, you count yourself a winner. That is a feeling everybody looks forward to when dumped.
Breakups will always come our way but how we handle them defines our strength and willingness to be happy. Never allow yourself to dwell on separations, pick up and stand firm.
What do you think?