Relationships aren’t always easy. This is especially true if it is a new relationship and the lines of communication aren’t really open. In the first few months of a relationship, most couples are more interested in having fun together than having “talks” about where the relationship is going.
If things are going great, then suddenly your boyfriend seems to be pulling away; it can be confusing. You want to know how he’s feeling and if he’s still interested, but you don’t want to sound needy. For all you know, when he has to skip date night, he could be working late. If he can’t spend time with you on the weekend, he could be working overtime. The last thing you want is to question him about your relationship when there is a good reason. When you start looking needy, it can scare him away. Fortunately, there are ways to get the answers you need without seeming needy or clingy.
Step 1: Look For His Unspoken Signs
When your boyfriend has time to spend with you, use this time wisely. If he is still into you, he will show it without saying a word. When you are together, is he affectionate? Does he lean in when you talk and put all of his focus on you? Does he put his arm around you or hold your hand while you are walking together? If he does any of these things, he is probably still into you. If he believes that the relationship has run its course, he won’t give you these unspoken signs.
Step 2: Ask Him How Things Are Going
If you guy seems to be disconnected, try to get him to open up. You can ask him how work has been going or ask him something about his interests. Most guys love to talk about themselves, and this could open the door to a meaningful conversation. When he is comfortable talking about himself, you can drop subtle hints about your relationship. When he talks about his job or activities he is involved in, you can mention that you have missed him while he’s been so busy. If he is still interested, he will explain that work or interests have kept him busy, and you are number one. If he is a closed-off person, this might not work. He might just rather talk about himself than your relationship. He could also stay closed off because he isn’t interested in you anymore. If this is the case, there are other ways to find out.
Step 3: “Am I Meeting Your Needs?”
It is not uncommon for a person to start to pull away or act distant if their needs are not being met. Many guys struggle to talk about what they want and what they need, so it is up to you to find out on your own. If there are needs that aren’t being met, you can find out so that you can make some changes in your relationship. This could be all you need to get things back on track.
Step 4: Ask Him If You Seem Different To Him
This is a good question to see where your boyfriend’s head is at. Best of all, there is a way to make it seem like you are just trying to get his opinion rather than putting him on the spot. Tell him that a friend told you that you seem different lately. You can ask him if he feels the same way. If he says yes, ask him how you have been different. This will open up a dialogue between the two of you, and he won’t even realize that you are trying to get answers about your relationship. Many guys love it when they are asked for help so they can feel needed. He will think that he is helping you with a problem with a friend, and you will be able to get some of the answers you are looking for. The last thing he will think is that you are needy.
Step 5: “Do You Think We Are In a Rut?”
If your boyfriend is pulling away because he is getting bored, coming straight out and asking him if you are doing something will make you look whiny and needy. Fortunately, there is a way that you can find out if he is getting bored with you without sounding needy.
If you ask him if he thinks you are in a rut, he will think that you feel like something is missing, and you won’t look desperate. Instead, it will give you some power. He might start to wonder if he is causing the problem and he isn’t making you happy. This will make him look at you differently and your relationship. It will also open the lines of communication for the two of you to make some changes in your relationship to make things better.
Step 6: Let Him Know He Seems Distracted
Telling your boyfriend that he seems distracted and demanding answers will make you seem needy, whiny, and a bit pushy. When he feels attacked, he isn’t going to open up. There is a way to ask this question without making him feel attacked. If you tell him that he seems distracted and you ask him if there is anything you can do to help him, he will see that you care about him and he won’t feel attacked. When he sees that you care, he will feel safe. If there is some other reason why he has been distracted, you will be able to get it out of him without him feeling threatened. It will also give the two of you a chance to have an honest conversation about your relationship so you can find out if he has lost interest or if there is something else on his mind.
Step 7: Ask Him To Go On An Adventure
There are a few ways that you can get what you want by asking your boyfriend to go on an adventure. This question might impress him. If he sees that you are trying to do something new and adventurous, out of your comfort zone, he might see you in a whole new light, and things might change between the two of you. Going on a crazy adventure together can breathe new life into your relationship, and you can start over from a better place.
If he doesn’t seem interested in your idea of going on an adventure, it is a bad sign. If he gives you excuses like work and not having time, let him know that you can go on an adventure that takes just a few hours. If he still says no, it is time to be more forward to finding out what is going on.
Step 8: Ask Him If He Wants Things To Get Better Between the Two Of You
If you have tried everything listed above, but you still feel a disconnect with your boyfriend, and you are worried, it might be time to be blunt. As much as you don’t want to seem needy, there comes the point where you have to put your feelings out there and find out what he wants. You can only beat around the bush for so long before you force his hand.
This question will get you the answers that you need. If he doesn’t even realize that things are off, let him know why you are feeling this way. This can start a conversation to make things better.
The worst-case scenario is if he says that he doesn’t want things to get better. By forcing his hand, he will have no choice but to be completely honest about your relationship. Even if you get the answer that you have been dreading, at least you know for sure. You can finally cut your losses and move on. Eventually, you will find someone that wants to be with you. It is best to find out for sure rather than waste your time in a relationship with no future.
Most guys don’t like needy, whiny girls. They are more into girls who are strong and confident. If you want to find out if your boyfriend is still interested in you, there must be a reason why you feel this way. If he is starting to pull away, you don’t want to come off needy because that could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
If you follow the tips listed above, you can get the answers that you want without seeming needy. In fact, many of the tips listed above will make him look at you differently. Different, but better. The tips will help you find out if your boyfriend is still interested or if you are wasting your time trying to make things work. As much as you care about him, being in a one-way relationship isn’t the best idea. If he confirms that he has lost interest, you can move on and find a person who really cares for you and values you.