People have a misconception about long-term relationships denoting that couples should be happy all the time of dating or marriage. However, this statement is unrealistic since life is pretty lengthy, and lovers might hit rough patches that take a toll on their happiness. When you realize your partner is sad, it feels like it’s the end of the world or the bond you have is about to break. To get to the root of the issue, you have to request some information from your loved one.
Communication is vital to keep an ongoing relationship strong. There are moments when couples struggle to share what they are feeling or talk about something their partner did and drove them mad. Note that a love relationship will weaken when emotions are kept a secret. Therefore, if you sense something is wrong with your girlfriend or boyfriend, it is crucial to have closure. Bear in mind that you have no idea why your lover looks upset; hence you should look concerned as you ask this question. Apply excellent tips from this document to help you resolve a problem in your relationship.
#1 Relate the Situation to You
We are all human. Hence, it is normal not to feel okay. But your partner should be more open to expressing their sad emotions with you when they are sure you are in the same boat. Therefore, tell them you are always comfortable letting them know when you face difficulties or had a bad day. Keep in mind that you aim to set a tone for the relationship openness ad safety before you ask any question.
Show your significant other there is no shame in what they are experiencing; to offer them hope of bouncing back after the intense discussion. Give them an example of when you were not feeling like your best self and started questioning whether you should speak up or hide, yet you decided to tell him or her to ease the distress. When you are confident that your partner comfortable with any query, bring the statement on whether you are cool with each other around, and make it more directed to your partner.
#2 Make Room for Suggestions
Your partner is most likely your best friend. Therefore, you might be lucky enough to spend plenty of time with them. During your past hangouts, there are chances you have shared fantasies. Knowing whether your lover is doing fine starts by reminding them of the moments you had a lot of fun together. Try to make them laugh by reminding him/her of the silly things you did on a particular vacation.
Remember that you want to create a floor for asking if they are okay since you have noted they are disturbed of late. Improve the conversation by suggesting another vacation in a place they have been yearning to visit. Use the platform to change the topic and find out what could be bothering them. Since you have made them relax, your partner might suggest anything concerning your relationships. Do not disagree when they say there are problems when two lovers are together, but listen carefully and take in the information.
#3 Be Straightforward
Time is elapsing, and you have not asked why your partner is unhappy. Also, you are trying to find out the reasons behind the sadness on the face when you know him/her as a friendly person. In case you have used all routes to get to the main point yet there is no response, it is better to ask your significant other point-blank. Inquire if there is something they would like to talk about or want help from you to make the individual feel better. Notably, it will indicate that you are intuitive and care enough to address issues in your relationship by getting down to the point. Do not beat the bush for so long but ask them outright from a position of concern and empathy versus hostility and bitterness. Always remember that relationship problems develop due to a lack of direct communication.
#4 Keep Calm
Emotions are normal and healthy for everyone, including those in a relationship. When we are feeling emotional, it’s hard to express clearly or even listen properly. Hence, if you are furious since your partner is stubborn to say why they are unhappy, it is best to save the conversation for later hours. Otherwise, you might utter something that you will regret for the rest of your life.
Notably, you have no idea why your lover seems sad; hence you should not make assumptions that will hurt them more. Try to write down what you are experiencing on a piece of paper or notebook instead of annoying somebody you love. Additionally, the notes you will jot down can later help you bring up the subject in question when they are in a better mood. Maintain a positive vibe, be calm and wait for them to come around and ask if they are okay.
#5 Pick the right time
There is always a time and place for any conversation. Therefore, if you arrive at your home earlier than your partner does, do not bombard them with questions as they walk in the door, even if you mean no harm. Note that you would appreciate it if the same happened to you. Hence, it is crucial to respect your lover’s communication style and keep in mind that nobody wants to be pressurized with queries after a long of work. Please choose the right time to talk to your partner after realizing something is bothering them.
In most cases, the best time to ask whether your lover is feeling okay is over dinner when everyone is relaxed and ready to talk. Also, while hungry, they won’t concentrate, let alone answer a barrage of questions. Let your loved one take a bath first and put something in the belly, whether in the morning or evening, before bringing up any topic. Additionally, if you call them and make them uncomfortable to converse, know your timing is wrong and wait till they are free and comfortable.
#6 Pinpoint reasons why you are concerned
Loving someone comes in hand with concern and care. You get worried when your beloved is sad. Keep in mind that you cannot always be the cause of your significant other’s unhappiness. There are other issues such as work, family, or diseases that can lead to their stress. Tell them that you have noted the slow reply in messages as you are chatting, and they spend a lot of time sleeping that they usually do.
Now ask your partner if there is something they want to say regarding their change in behaviors. By indicating the things, you have observed, you give them a chance to either confirm or deny that they are troubled. In other words, you are trying not to tell the other individual how you feel, but you are initiating a conversation and allowing them to address the change. Assure them that you are asking questions out of love and you want to honor the promise you made when you started dating; always care for each other.
#7 Listen Attentively
We have all been in a situation where we are disturbed. We went ahead and poured our hearts to someone telling them our worries, but they awkwardly scrambled to find the right words to resolve the issue. It feels good to have someone to listen to your sorrows even when the problem is challenging. Therefore, if you wonder how to ask if everything is ok in a relationship, you must first enhance your listening skills.
Hearing what your partner has to say after realizing they do not seem fine is vital in relationships. Ensure you pay attention to what they are telling you since being there for them means a lot. Look your lover in the eyes as an indication of attention, and do not interrupt them when they are talking. In case the conversation is directed to you, answer the questions at hand to ensure your love connections are still intact.
#8 Make a Follow-Up
Creating a follow-up plan such as a phone call during the day, arranging for love date, or a zoom call after asking if your partner is okay means a lot. Keep in mind that it gives the person something to look forward to and sends a message showing that checking up on them was not a one-time thing.
Note that this strategy takes the pressure off your beloved and offers you both an opportunity to process your conversation. If they have provided closure on what is recently bothering them, offer some help where it necessitates. In case the problem is psychological, ensure you connect them with a professional therapist to assist them. When you are the cause of their sadness, make a step and apologize as you discuss the root and solutions of the problem together.
Sometimes, we worry that we are prying or reading too much into things. Trust your guts. If you know something feels off with your loved one, take a leap and ask questions. Keep in mind that you could be the nudge they require to get help. Reassure your significant other that you are inquiring from the point of concern, and if they do not feel comfortable opening up yet, you respect their decision.