Ever been in a situation where a friend wants more than friendship from you? Well, not everyone would want to remain just friends. I mean, we are human beings, have feelings; and as much as the other party would want to keep the friendship for long, on the other hand, it is not easy to bury or hide their feelings towards you.
One thing for sure is you may not notice the person has romantic feelings until they express them to you. So, what happens if someone wants more than friendship and you don’t? Well, if you are currently in such a situation, this is the right article to read. We will offer you with tips on how to tell someone you want to be friends without hurting them.
Be clear and precise
The last thing you need is to give the other party hopes of you reciprocating their feelings in the future or rather encouraging them. We all know when we meet someone we want to date or have a romantic relationship with the first time we meet. Therefore, if you are sure that someone can only be a friend, make sure to be true about it. You don’t necessarily need to be harsh when telling them that you don’t like them that way.
You can use a nicer and gentle way to refute their advances. For example, you can tell him/her that you always have fun when you hang out together or in their company, and you would want your relationship to remain like that. Assure them that they are important in your life, and you would not want anything to come between your friendships. Be sure to conclude by saying that you only want to remain friends for as long as you live.
Don’t take long
Don’t take long before you set the record straight with the person. The more you stay while encouraging their advances, the more you are building their courage and hopes. Therefore when you tell him/her about your feelings when it is too late, the chances of him/her getting hurt more are quite high.
This also can easily ruin your good friend. Remember that the other party is taking a risk by expressing their feelings towards you. So, he/she knows they may face rejection. So, the earlier they know about your stand regarding your relationship, the more they will be prepared and train their mind and heart to know that you can only be friends.
This is a crucial point to follow if you have maybe gone for a few dates with the other partner. Have you noticed that you don’t have chemistry or don’t have the qualities you are looking for in a partner? It is normal to find the person interested in use does not meet our standards. So, if you find yourself in such a situation with a potential partner, you need to tell them as soon as possible.
This is something you can do over a call or meet face to face. Some of the things you can tell your partner are; “following the few dates we have gone, I have realized that we are better off being friends than having a romantic relationship.” You can proceed to tell them that you are more comfortable and enjoy their company more when you talk about other things than your relationship, something friends do.
You can also be brief and text them that; “following our dates, I have realized that we are better at being friends than lovers. Note that you need to tell the other party this maybe if they ask you about your feelings towards them or what you think about the two of you dating. But, I would suggest you bring up such conversations after you go out for a few dates if you find they are not asking you.
In some cases, you don’t necessarily need to be too serious when tuning down the idea of you dating. It is easier if you have fun moments together or the other person is free-spirited. So, if you don’t want to do so much explaining why you want to be friends with the other person, throw in some nice and kind words, and you will be good to go. You can begin the conversation by mentioning the traits that make you like them.
Tell them all the things you like about them and what makes them stand out from other friends you have. Then tell them that you would want to continue being friends so both of you can continue to have more fun together. Conclude by saying that you don’t feel any romantic chemistry between the two of you but, you like their vibes because they make you happy all the time.
If you want someone to stay as a friend solely, you need to avoid any intimacy with them. That is why it is always crucial that you go on a few dates with a person to gauge your feelings towards each other. Sex or any intimacy is spiritual, and one party may get attached and get all the wrong ideas when you have sex. So, if you realize that you only want to keep your date a friend, make sure to avoid any form of intimacy with them. This is mainly crucial if you are a woman.
In most cases, if a man sleeps with you, convincing them that you want to be friends can be tricky. The reason being, he may want to have you again, especially if you had a good time together. Therefore, if you are not interested in that man, avoid giving him such mixed signals. Be straightforward from the start.
Draw a line
Are you going on dates multiple times a week? Do you pick gifts wherever the other person buys you? Again you are sending the wrong signals to the person. Picking their gifts and always being available for dates shows that you are as much interested in them as they are. Doing such things with the other party gives them the impression that you two are courting and building a good relationship.In return, this can be misleading, and when you finally drop the bomb that you only see them as a friend, it will hurt them.
The person may feel like you were using them by accepting all the gifts and free dates out. Women! Remember, men love women who are moral and straightforward, even if it hurts a bit. So, the earlier you set records straight about the kind of relationship you want to establish with him, the better. But, keep in mind hanging with the person is not bad, but you need to do it is minimal.
Avoid flirting with them
This is pretty much the first sign that shows someone is romantically interested in you. Have you noticed the friend is throwing some sexual advances in your conversations or when you meet up for an activity or a casual date? Well, this is a clear indication that he wants to date you. This can go wrong if you encourage the flirting and reciprocate it. You may think it is an innocent gesture, or you are just nice to the other person. It may hurt in the long run if they find out you are not in love with them.
If you are sure that the person can only be your friend, don’t ever encourage their flirtation moves towards you. Always find a way to discourage him. You can bring up a new topic that is fun but does not involve any sexual discussion. For example, if you are colleagues, you can tell him/her about your department’s new project or talk about your family.
Take time to listen to him
Whether you are the first person to bring up the topic or it is the other person, it is always good to give him/her time to speak their mind. Even if you already know your answer about his request, give them time to express their feelings and what they feel about your answer. Do not interrupt him/her when speaking, as this may develop some communication conflict. Just nod and only answer when they ask you a question.
Listening to him/her when expressing their feelings helps you have a better and deeper understanding of their feelings towards you. But, it is crucial to note that people have different reactions to rejection. Some people may be calm, and others may act irrationally and not want to talk to you. Jut respect their decision regarding their reaction. Give them time to rise to reality first.
These are our top best tips to guide you on how to tell someone you are better off being just friends. It is not an easy topic since someone’s feelings will be crushed, but you shouldn’t give him/her false hopes. Honesty is crucial from the start so they can know how to treat you. If the person does not want to be friends and prefers you keep distances, Respect their decision to avoid conflicts.