Relationships can be complicated. Unfortunately, no relationship is perfect, and no guy is perfect. Everyone has one issue or another with their boyfriends. A common issue is when a guy goes out with his friends but never takes his girlfriend out.
If you are dealing with this, it can be very frustrating. It can also make you start to wonder if there is something wrong with you. If your boyfriend isn’t taking you out because he is a homebody, he wouldn’t be going out with his friends. If your guy is going out with his friends and not you, it isn’t uncommon to wonder what is wrong with you. This can be a real self-esteem crusher, and it can put a strain on your relationship.
There are a few reasons why your boyfriend could be doing this. Some of the reasons are innocent and shouldn’t be a reason to end the relationship, and some of the reasons are more sinister.
When you know the most common reasons why guys act this way, you can think about who your boyfriend is as a person and his situation to determine which category he falls into.
Reason 1: He Likes To Socialize
If your guy is a social butterfly and he loves socializing with other people, he will want to spend more time with his friends. If he takes you on a date, it will be the two of you, which won’t give him a chance to socialize and work the room. His full attention should be on you, and if he were to get up and talk to other people, you would feel abandoned and neglected. If he goes out with a group of friends, it won’t be rude if he decides to socialize with people who are not part of his group. When he is out with his friends, he can be the fun-loving guy who talks to everyone without any consequences.
Reason 2: You Aren’t Into the Same Things
If your boyfriend doesn’t take you out but goes out with his friends, you should think about what he is doing when he is out with his friends. If he always goes bowling with his friends or goes golfing, fly drones, or play paintball, you have nothing to worry about. If your boyfriend has a hobby that he enjoys, he will spend time with his friends who share his interests. If you aren’t into his hobby, he isn’t going to bore you by bringing you along.
Reason 3: He Wants To Be Himself
In the early stages of a relationship, it isn’t uncommon for couples to show only the best sides of themselves. It takes a while to get comfortable with a person and let them see all sides of you, both the good and the bad.
If your boyfriend is going out with his friends a lot, it could be that he wants to be himself for a while. He wants to let loose and have a good time, and he might not feel comfortable enough with you yet to let you see his wild side. When he is out with his friends, he can be himself without worrying about putting his best foot forward. If this is the case, you need to be patient. He will feel comfortable enough to start being himself around you in time, and he will start asking you to join him when he goes out.
Reason 4: He’s Broke
Women have come a long way when it comes to equality, but many guys are still traditional when it comes to picking up the check when out on a date. If your boyfriend isn’t taking you out, it could be that he is broke. He isn’t going to want you to know that he can’t afford to take you out for a night on the town because this kind of confession can be embarrassing. It is a lot cheaper to pick up some pizza and wine and stream a good movie.
If your boyfriend is broke but still goes out with his friends, there is a good chance that his friends are footing the bill. Guys aren’t embarrassed to tell other guys about their money problems, and his friends could be paying his way. He also might have enough money to buy a few drinks for himself, but not enough to cover the bill for two people.
The last thing you want is to call him out on the issue if money is the problem. It is best to be patient, and when he starts to feel more comfortable with you, he might open up about his money problems. You can also invite him on a date. Let him know that he pays for the pizza and wine every time, so it is your turn to pick up the check for once. This will get the two of you out, and you won’t need to worry about wounding his pride.
Reason 5: He’s a Flirt
If your boyfriend is going out with his friends and not you, it could be that he likes to flirt. When he goes out with his friends, he can innocently flirt with every girl in the room without dealing with any backlash. He knows that if he takes you out and he flirts, there will be disastrous consequences. Just because he is flirting, it doesn’t mean that he is going to cheat. When he starts asking other women for their phone numbers, you need to worry, which you will see in reason 6.
Reason 6: He’s Jealous and Insecure
Some guys are so jealous and insecure that they would rather keep their girlfriends at home than take them out and risk them getting hit on by another guy. Your boyfriend might be worried that the waiter at the restaurant will hit on you, and you will like it. Insecure guys think that every guy is better looking than them, and he will be worried about losing you. He won’t want to take you out with his friends either, fearing that you will find one of his friends more attractive than him.
On the surface, this might seem sweet. Who doesn’t want to be with a guy who is afraid to lose his girl? You should understand that this isn’t sweet, and it can lead to an abusive relationship. Eventually, the two of you will have to go out in public together. As you get to know each other better, he will start accusing you of looking at the waiter the wrong way or flirting with the bartender when you order a drink. This may not be the worst reason your boyfriend won’t take you out, but it is the most dangerous reason.
Reason 7: He’s Still Looking
If your boyfriend isn’t 100 percent serious about your relationship and he is still looking, he would rather go out with his friends than you. He doesn’t want to end things with you, but he wants to see who else is out there. Innocent flirting is one thing, but trying to pick up other women is another. Of all the reasons why your boyfriend wants to go out with his friends and not you, this is one of the worst.
Unfortunately, this can destroy your relationship, and there is no way to find out if this is why he doesn’t take you out. If none of the reasons above apply to your relationship, this could be why he only wants to go out with his friends.
Reason 8: He Thinks That He’s Out Of Your League
Of all the reasons why your boyfriend goes out with his friends and not you, this is the most painful. Some guys think very highly of themselves, even if the rest of the world doesn’t see them that way. If your guy thinks that he is the greatest thing since sliced bread, he might not want to be seen with you. This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like you. It is the exact opposite. He loves to spend time with you and have fun with you, but in his warped mind, he should be seen in public with a higher caliber girl. If this is the reason he isn’t taking you out, you should leave him immediately. Even if you love the time you spend together behind closed doors, you don’t want to be with someone who thinks they are too good for you. You are better than that, and you deserve more.
Most guys won’t come out and tell you this, so it is up to you to figure it out for yourself. You need to ask him point-blank why he won’t take you out. If he thinks that he is too good for you, he will think that he can do or say anything, and you will still feel lucky to be with him. If your boyfriend’s ego is this big, he will be dumb enough to tell you the real reason why he won’t take you out. When he admits it, walk away as quickly as possible.
There are several possible reasons why your boyfriend goes out with his friends and doesn’t take you out. Some of the reasons are completely innocent, while others are not quite so innocent. If you are an amateur detective, you might be able to get to the bottom of things on your own. If not, you might have to come right out and ask. It is best to know now than several months down the line.