Years ago, when you wanted to communicate with someone, you had to call them or see them in person. In today’s technological world, it is easy to communicate with someone in private with nobody else knowing. You can use text messages, video chat, and social media to stay in contact with people. This makes it easier for your husband to have conversations with other women in secret. If your husband is texting another woman, the first thing you should do is figure out why. There are some innocent reasons for the texting and some scandalous reasons as well. Before you do anything, it is best to figure out why he is texting the other woman; then, you can start taking the necessary action. If you want to know what to do when your husband is texting another woman, read on.
#1 They Are Just Friends
Before you were married, your husband had friends, both male and female. Just because you both said, “I do,” you shouldn’t expect your husband to stop speaking to his friends. If your husband is texting another woman, there is a good chance that they are old friends.
If you ask your husband and this woman is an old friend, it is essential that you set boundaries to ensure he doesn’t take the relationship to the next level and starts having an affair. You can give your ex boundaries, but you should be able to recognize that the relationship is more than just friends. The signs include:
• He only texts her when he is in a room alone.
• He hides his phone from you.
• He changes his phone password often.
• He stops what he is doing with you every time she texts.
• Their text conversations go on for hours.
If your husband is doing any of these things, there is a chance he isn’t being honest, and the relationship is more friendly than he wants you to believe.
#2 They Are Work Partners
If your husband has a demanding job, there is a chance that the woman he is texting with is his work partner. It isn’t common for work to carry over into your husband’s home life, and he is texting about a work project or a deadline. If this is the case, the frequency of the texts could start to slow down when the project is complete, and the deadline is met. If you are concerned about the frequent texting or it is starting to affect your marriage, it is best to talk to him and set limits. There are a few ways that you can do this.
• Ask him to limit the text messages to necessary work conversations only.
• Ask him to leave the phone down when the two of you are doing something together, such as having dinner, watching a movie, or having a date night.
• Invite his work partner to dinner to see how the two interact to give yourself peace of mind that they aren’t having an affair.
#3 She Is Texting Him Constantly
Some women don’t care if a man is married. If a woman finds your husband attractive, the texting could be one-sided, and he isn’t reading or replying to any of her texts. It is important that you put an end to this before anything starts between the two of them. If you don’t take the texting seriously, her flirting could result in your husband becoming emotionally invested in the relationship, causing an emotional affair to begin. It won’t be long before the emotional affair becomes a full-blown affair, which could spiral out of control. If this happens, your husband could begin a full-blown affair with the woman, which could be the end of your marriage. There are a few things you need to do right away to ensure this doesn’t happen.
• Ask your husband to tell her to stop texting because he is a happily married man.
• Ask him to block her phone number so she can’t text anymore.
• Ask him to delete her from social media so she cannot send him direct messages.
• Remind him that flirting over text is technically an emotional affair.
• Check his phone from time to time. If the texts are still on his phone, he isn’t trying to hide anything. If the texts are always deleted, you have something to worry about.
#4 He’s Cheating
The most sinister reason that your husband is texting another woman is that he is having an affair. The affair could be an emotional one, and the contact is just through text. He could also be having a physical affair, and there is sex involved. There are a few signs to look for to let you know that your husband is having an emotional or sexual affair.
• He hides his phone from you.
• He changes his phone password frequently.
• He is texting this other woman more than he speaks to you.
• He is starting fights with you for no reason.
• He disappears into the bedroom for hours to text.
• He makes excuses to leave the house at random times.
• He has two calculator apps on his phone. There is a password-protected app that is designed to look like a calculator, but it is really a secret texting app that hides texts and photos.
• He is texting a new “male” friend. Your husband may have put the other woman’s number in his phone under a man’s name, hoping to keep you from finding out who he is really texting.
• He is starting fights with you for no reason.
If you suspect that your husband is having an emotional or physical affair, there are a few things you should do if you want to find the truth and potentially save your marriage.
• Do nothing until you have the facts: Unless you have all the facts, don’t start a fight where there isn’t one. The text conversations between the two could be innocent, and making accusations could make you look jealous and affect your marriage. If your husband’s text messaging isn’t affecting your communication and sex life, you could be worried about nothing.
• Don’t accuse him of cheating: Don’t make any accusations if you suspect that your husband is cheating. Until you sit down with him and get all the facts, keep your suspicions to yourself.
• Don’t let your emotions control you: If you cannot keep your emotions in check, you will make mistakes. If you lose your cool and it turns out that your husband isn’t cheating, it can be embarrassing, and the accusations can affect your marriage.
• Investigate: If your husband is cheating, you will need to come to him with proof. If you have nothing, he can easily deny your accusations and pretend to be the wronged partner. You can start by going through social media pages to check if anyone comments on his posts and comments frequently. You can also check his phone for any incriminating texts. You can also ask acquaintances if they have seen your husband out handing around with other women.
• Seek professional help: If your husband admitted to having an affair and wants to save the marriage, you should see a therapist together. A professional marriage counselor can help you find ways to learn to trust again and start rebuilding your marriage.
• Insist on having full access to his phone: If you find out your husband has cheated and you are in therapy, it can be difficult to trust him again. If trust is a major issue, insist on having full access to his phone. This will allow you to see what he is doing on his phone to ensure that the affair has ended the way he said it has.
If you are sure your husband isn’t having an affair, but his texting another woman is still bothering you, don’t keep it bottled up inside. You will need to something about if you are going to have any peace in your relationship.
• Discuss your feelings: The best thing you can do is talk to your husband about how his texting this woman affects you. Let him know that you trust him, but the frequent texting is still worrying you. Ask him how he would feel if you were texting another man often, even if it is as innocent as his texts with this other woman. He might start to realize that the frequent texting is hurting you, and he will stop.
• Set healthy boundaries: If your husband is receptive to your feeling, but he needs to speak to this other woman for work, or because they are old friends, you need to set healthy boundaries regarding their relationship. If you put your foot down and let him know that the frequent texts are bothering you, you and your husband can discuss what will make you feel more comfortable.
• See a therapist on your own: If your husband is texting another woman innocently, but it is still bothering you, seeing a therapist on your own can help. A therapist can help you work through your feelings to help with your trust issues and fear that the texting could result in an emotional or physical affair.
Although your husband is texting another woman, there is no guarantee that he is having an affair. The text messages could be totally innocent, but that doesn’t mean that he is having an affair. Communication and being observant is the key to figuring out if texting is innocent or something more.