Coming to terms that the man you love and want to create a life together is interested in another woman is not an easy thing for most women. This is because women are very emotionally attached, and we can say when a woman loves, she loves for real. So, finding out your boyfriend has cheated on you is not something you would want to come to terms with.
However, it would be best to confront him and the situations to come to terms with it as you generally get closure for his behavior. So, if you are wondering what to say to your boyfriend when he cheats on you, here is an article for you. We will provide a guide on what to tell and how to confront your boyfriend if you learn he is cheating or has cheated on you.
I felt hurt
You are hurt, and one way to let your boyfriend know what you are feeling is by telling him what you feel. Before, women didn’t pay much attention to their cheating partners as it seemed normal, and women were made to feel that the man is cheating because he is not satisfied with their relationship. This narrative does not exist since women have learned their value and understand better how they have to be treated in relationships.
So, if you have been nothing but the best partner to your boyfriend, you are kind to him, treat him right, and show him that you love and respect him; well, the feeling should be mutual from him as well. Therefore, finding out that the man you have given your whole world to has cheated is hurtful and may even make you lose your self-esteem.
Confront him and let him know that you already know he has been sneaking around and there is a third party in your relationship. Telling him that you already know is not enough. It would help if you expressed your feelings and how this whole thing is making you feel. So, say it to his face that he did hurt you as you wait for him to explain why he did what he did to you.
Once you confront your boyfriend about his cheating on you, the next question to ask is, what happened? This is a question you ask to get closure about his behavior. Even if you are done and don’t plan on working on your relationship, to move forward with the cheating scandal, at least you need closure on why he did that to you. Cheating can take a toll on your life, especially if both parties do not address the issue.
As a woman, you will always be cautious about yourself, and it somehow creates self-doubt. You may find yourself comparing yourself to the other woman, asking yourself why you are not good enough or what you lack and the other woman has. All these questions lead to self-doubt, and that is why we have seen many women getting plastic surgery to try and change their bodies to look a certain way to attract their men.
However, you don’t need to get to this point as there are better ways of getting a clear and more elaborate answer as to why your boyfriend cheat. But, keep note that there is no sensible reason why a partner should cheat on the other partner!
Do you love your boyfriend and would want to work things out amid this and move forward? Research shows that most couples can work on their relationship and even emerge stronger and better after a cheating scandal is revealed. This all comes down to both parties opening up, addressing the cause, and outlining the loopholes in the relationship.
So, you want to move on from the cheating scandal, a stronger woman, and with your self-esteem and dignity intact? Ask why he did that to you. Well, at least you deserve closure, don’t you?
Did I do something to cause this?
Let us break it down this way; you have had a blissful relationship with your boyfriend. You were happy, had fun together, cared for each other, and so on. So, all of a sudden, finding out that your man finds another woman more attractive, more sexual, and deserving of his love and attention would make any normal woman think they did something wrong.
But, again, men are not like women as they tend to keep things in themselves, unlike women who will voice their complaints about how their boyfriend behaves or acts. For example, if you have had a busy schedule at work lately and don’t get enough time to spend with your boyfriend, you will automatically think this is the cause for his behavior.
On the other hand, if you did something that annoyed him and you both swept it under the carpet because you felt it was not a major issue to talk about, you may think that he has not moved on from it. Once you learn your man is cheating, you are taken back into analyzing your relationship to see where you went wrong along the way and to see if there is something you could have done to cause him stray.
Well, we are not perfect, and yes, you may have done something that made him mad not once or twice along in your relationship, but this does not justify cheating. As an honorable man, he should address the issues he sees in your relationship with you and express himself and not go around cheating.
So, asking your cheating boyfriend if you did something to make him cheat on you is a way of giving him a platform to air and express himself about what you did to hurt him. You need to know if something is missing in your relationship that made him find it in another woman. There are different types of cheaters;
• Some people cheat because they have fallen out of love with their partners and are cowards since they don’t want to tell them.
• Some people cheat because they don’t find peace in their relationship, and their girlfriends don’t treat them right. So, if such a man finds a girl who treats him like a king, he will go with her.
• The last category of cheaters is people who don’t have morals. No matter how good you are to him, he will still look at another woman because cheating is like a fantasy.
So, you can gauge the man by how he explains himself when discussing his cheating. If he has a genuine and remorseful expression about what he did, you can give him a chance to correct the mistake. But, if he treats this as something you don’t need to discuss as normal, you know that man is a serial cheater. Other than this, you need to listen to your heart to gauge if you want to stay in the relationship or want out.
What are you going to do to win my trust again?
Apart from being hurt and undergoing a process of self-doubt, trust in the relationship is completely broken. You will always suspect your man of cheating whenever you are not together; if you call and he does pick calls, you will always assume that he is cheating on you and so on.
If you are not at fault and you have treated your boyfriend well and with care, it is not your duty to put the hard work into repairing your relationship. If he asks for a second chance at all, he needs to do the hard work to win you over again and regain your trust once more. So, he should treat this as a new chance of restarting your relationship like a new couple, only that you two know each other better.
It will take a while for you to trust and want to be with him again since you are still hurt. But still, he should not give up on you as he needs to assure you that you are the only woman in his life, and he chooses you from now henceforth. At this time, if your man does not put into the effort of winning your trust and love again, chances of the relationship collapsing are easy since you don’t feel what you used to feel for him before.
Yes, you may be still in love with him but don’t want to be with him. So, a good man should work hard to keep his gem after realizing his mistake. On your side, you need this assurance through words of mouth and actions too.
We are done
What about the women who feel betrayed, such that the cheating has damaged the relationship beyond repair? You need to put things upfront with your boyfriend and tell him you no longer want to continue with the relationship. This may be based on why he cheated, how he reasons for cheating, and probably the period he has been cheating on you.
If your boyfriend has been cheating for a long period and he is arrogant when he explains how and why he cheated, you need to get rid of his toxic from in your life. So, tell him to his face that the relationship is over and you do not want to be his girlfriend anymore.
Cheating can cost you self-awareness, dignity, and even esteem if not addressed with the person who hurt you. So, start by believing that you are not at fault for your boyfriend cheating on you, and then confront him for hurting your feelings and not caring for the special and beautiful relationship you had.
From your conversations and the questions you ask, you will be able to determine if you want to continue dating or you should break up.