Relationships can be very complicated. Part of the reason for this is that you cannot read your significant other’s mind. Many women start looking for relationships with marriage in mind. These women aren’t looking to get married right away, but it is the end goal.
If you are dating a pretty closed guy and doesn’t talk much about their feelings or the future, it can be difficult to tell if they are interested in dating casually or if their end goal is marriage as well.
It can be difficult to figure out what your boyfriend is looking for. Asking could end up causing a fight or scaring him off.
If you are wondering how to ask a guy what his intentions are with you without causing drama, there are several questions that you can ask. The last thing you want is to waste your time in a dead-end relationship with someone who doesn’t want to get married or who doesn’t want to marry you.
The questions listed below will help you figure out what your boyfriend wants out of the relationship without making waves.
Question 1: Are You Looking For a Commitment?
This is a good question to ask if you first started dating. Some guys are just looking for something casual, while others are looking to settle down. This is a good question to ask early on to keep from wasting your time.
Question 2: Where Do You See Yourself In Five Years?
This is a great first question to ask. It will give you an idea if your boyfriend sees himself married in the future. There are plenty of ways he can answer this question. Career-focused men will talk about the promotion they hope to get or starting their own business. Some guys will talk about the house, car, or other toys they hope to purchase. If you are lucky, your boyfriend will also mention what he wants from his personal life. If not, don’t worry. There are plenty of other questions that you can ask to hint around and get the answers you are looking for.
Question 3: What Is Your Number One Priority In Life?
When you ask your boyfriend this question, a couple of responses can tell you what he is looking for. If he says that his car or his job is his number one priority, there is a good chance that he isn’t thinking about a long-term commitment.
The best answer is that his number one priority is your relationship. This answer tells you that marriage is in your future. If he tells you that friends and family are his number one priority, it is also a good sign.
This is a great question to ask because he will never suspect that you are fishing for answers regarding marriage and your future together.
Question 4: Are a Lot Of Your Friends Married?
If you know all of your boyfriend’s friends, this is a question you should ask yourself. If you know a few friends but have never met his friends at work or the guys on his softball team, this is a question that you should ask him, and it can give you some insight into what he is looking for.
Studies have shown that men who surround themselves with other single men are less likely to settle down and get married. Men who surround themselves with married men are more likely to get married.
If most of your boyfriend’s friends are married, he will not want to be the only bachelor in the group for long, which means that he will start thinking about getting married himself.
If most of his friends are single and live the single life, your boyfriend won’t want to be the only guy tied down in a relationship.
This answer to this question can tell you a lot about what to expect in the future.
Question 5: At What Age Do You Think a Person Is Ready To Get Married?
This question will let you know if you can expect to wait five years or fifteen years before your boyfriend proposes. It is also a subtle way to figure out what he is thinking.
For example, if your boyfriend is 25 and says that 30 is a good age to get married, he could propose to you within the next few years. If he is 25 and thinks that 50 is the best age or says never, there is a good chance that you are in a dead-end relationship.
This is another subtle question. You can act like it is just a question asked out of curiosity, and he doesn’t need to know that you are fishing for answers.
Question 6: What Are Your Views On Long-Term Commitment and Marriage?
This is a less subtle way to figure out what your boyfriend is looking for. However, if you put it in the right context, you can keep him from figuring out what you are asking for yourself. You can start the conversation by telling him about a friend at work who is completely against relationships and marriage. If you pretend that you are just looking for another person’s point of view, he will have no idea that you are trying to figure out where your relationship is going subtly.
Question 7: What Was Your Last Long-Term Relationship Like?
This is an important question when you first start dating. You probably won’t want to hear about his ex, but knowing what happened during that relationship and why it ended will give you an idea of what to expect.
If his ex broke his heart, cheated on him, or treated him poorly throughout the entire relationship, there is a good chance that he will be too damaged to start something serious and long-term. Things like this can take years to get over, and you need to decide if you are willing to wait around until he is ready to make a serious commitment.
If his last relationship was a good one that just fizzled out, there is a chance that he will be willing to start something serious with you.
If you have asked these seven subtle questions and still haven’t been able to determine if you are in a dead-end relationship or if your boyfriend is in it for the long haul, you will need to start asking more direct questions. These questions will be harder to ask, but if your boyfriend isn’t interested in long-term relationships or marriage, it is best that you find out now.
Question 8: Where Do You See Us Going In the Future?
There comes the point where being blunt is the best way to get an answer to your question. If you have been dating for a year and the idea of marriage has never come up, the question is worth asking.
The best\-case scenario is him saying one day he plans to be married to you. If he tries to change the subject or laugh off the question, it will give you the answer you need, even if it isn’t what you want to hear.
Question 9: Are You Happy With Our Relationship, Or Do You Want More?
This question can give you more than an idea if he is almost ready for marriage. If he says, he wants more, great. He might also tell you what is wrong with your relationship that is keeping him from taking things to the next level. This question can open the door to a conversation that can improve your relationship, which can help him feel better about the idea of marrying you.
Question 10: What Do You Want From This Relationship?
If you ask this question too early, there is a chance that you are going to scare your boyfriend away. If you have been together for six months or more, it is time to have this talk. The answer to this question will let you know if your boyfriend is just looking for a fun fling or if he is thinking about marriage one day. If he says that he wants to have fun, chances are marriage is the furthest thing from his mind.
Before you ask this question, just be prepared to get an answer that you don’t want to hear. You will be taking a risk asking this question, but you have to ask the question if you want to know where you stand.
You are walking a fine line when trying to figure out if your boyfriend wants to settle down and get married or if he just wants to have fun. If you don’t ask the questions the right way, you could come off clingy, nagging, or too needy. If you don’t ask the questions, you will drive yourself crazy wondering what your boyfriend wants from the relationship.
If you follow the tips listed above, you can get the answers you are looking for, and your boyfriend won’t even see what you are trying to do. If you ask all the right questions and you still aren’t getting a straight answer, you need to be blunt and get straight to the point. Knowing what your boyfriend is looking, for now, can prevent you from wasting your time on someone who isn’t looking for the same things that you are.