When your partner cheats, it is hard to grasp what has happened. Your world comes crashing down with a single blow. This leaves you not knowing how to react or even begin to deal with this situation that is now a reality. You will feel betrayed, used, inferior, confused, and incredibly hurt but never let yourself be consumed by any of these emotions because they only render in them the person who needs their revenge worse than anyone else.
One of the hardest parts about encountering a cheating spouse (or friend/lover) is not knowing all of the affair’s details and why it occurred at all. People often have no idea that something was going on behind their backs for months, if not years, until someone tells them, or they eventually stumble upon the evidence of it.
Knowing that your partner cheated on you is bad enough (or a good enough reason to cheat), but listening to them justify their reasons for doing so and making yourself believe those reasons speaks volumes about you. If someone cheats on you, it’s not because YOU lack in any way — it’s because THEY had something else going on with SOMEONE ELSE that wasn’t right in their relationship with YOU. And if they would have stood up and dealt with the issues at hand instead of taking the easy way out well, then that person wouldn’t have been unfaithful in the first place.
If you suspect your partner is cheating, you may be feeling unsure about what to do next. What to do if your boyfriend cheats on you? You could confront them or try to find out if they are seeing someone else by looking through their phone and email messages to catch them in the act. In this blog post, we will explain how to tell someone you know they are cheating:
1. You need a reasonable certainty that they are cheating before you confront them about it. Also, if there is any chance that you too may be at fault for the infidelity in some way, then DO NOT confront your partner with allegations of their infidelity. Sit down and have an honest conversation about what is going on — this can save your relationship.
2. The best time to catch a cheater red-handed is when they think no one else will be at home or coming to the house. If you suspect that someone else might be involved, try not to do anything to jeopardize their safety, such as confronting the other person directly yourself and making them feel threatened or vulnerable.
3. Ask yourself if you are willing to risk losing your relationship just because you want to know for sure. If not, and there is even a small chance that they may be cheating, then do not try to find out if they are unfaithful on purpose — it is too risky!
4. Before confronting them about any suspicions that you might have of their infidelity, remind yourself that the situation might turn out either way; their partner could really be lying about this (but in most cases, this will not happen), or else they have been telling the truth all along (and so after confronting them with your suspicions, you will owe them an apology). This realization should help make things easier for you when confronting them.
5. If you have any reason to believe that your partner might be cheating, the absolute last thing you should do is tell them that you think they are cheating — this will only make matters a LOT worse for both of you!
6. When confronting them with your suspicions of their infidelity, it might be better to just say, “I know something strange has been going on lately.” If they ask you what it was, then say “It’s nothing,” even if it wasn’t much in reality. And regardless of whether or not there was anything suspicious happening at all recently, remember that things change and so if this particular situation does not seem like a big deal anymore by now, say so! (If there WAS something that you are hiding from them to avoid confrontation — like evidence of their infidelity or something that would reveal your culpability in the affair — it is better to just get rid of this as soon as possible rather than confront them about it).
7. If by now there has been some time since you last confronted them about your suspicions that they have been cheating on you (perhaps a day or two), and so they don’t seem to be acting suspiciously anymore, then try asking yourself honestly whether in retrospect, what seemed like warning signs were! Then reevaluate those “signs” before confronting them with any new suspicions. And remember: if at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again! This might take several attempts if your partner is a pathological liar or not emotionally strong enough to see this through. It may seem like an impossible task to try to figure out for sure whether someone you live with is cheating on you or not, but it can be done!
8. You will need the mindset that everything has changed since you know they are cheating. Your relationship will never be the same again — you do not want them back now, and vice versa. If both of these things apply to both of you, then confronting them with your suspicions might lead to forgiveness and reconciliation; however, if either one of these does not apply to either party involved in the infidelity, then it is best just to confront them once about their affair if they seem to be repentant, and then just put it behind you or else things could get ugly!
9. If your partner has not been acting suspicious lately (and if they have been treating you better as a result), why should you suspect that they are cheating on you? So if, after analyzing the situation rationally for a couple of days, there are no signs that anyone might be involved in an affair, then do not try getting revenge by accusing them of something that might never actually have happened! After “getting even” with someone who cheated on you, or even confronting them about their infidelity again when it turns out that they were telling the truth the first time — this could make matters worse than ever before.
10. If after confronting your partner about their infidelity, or telling them that you think they might be cheating on you — but talking to them didn’t solve the problem (and this time it is not your fault), then remember: if at first, you don’t succeed, try again! Or even if things do get better between you both as a result of confronting them about their affair, never assume that everything will always remain like this. Be prepared for another confrontation in the future!
11. Getting A Little Rough-This one could either mean someone has just been a bit naughty or that they want to make their partner think there’s more going on than actually may have happened, depending on the situation. Sometimes people will do this because they want to enjoy getting their partner jealous by hitting on them in public before letting them know what’s going on – others will do this as an indicator of how mad they are at being cheated on, making sure to get physical enough. Hence, the other person knows it was no mistake.
12.When you have proof, show them your anger. Do not worry about hurting their feelings or making it awkward. Expose it for what it is. The most effective way to do this is by showing them the evidence of their cheating ways, whether through texts, screenshots, or any communication between them and a person of interest.
13.Don’t ask questions; if they want to tell the truth, they will start talking right away (though some people might deny everything!); also, don’t corner someone into having a conversation because you can see them getting more nervous the longer they hold out on talking.
14.Talk to them only when you feel ready. You can write up a list of questions for them if you need to calm yourself down; make sure that these questions do not sound accusatory!
15. If they deny it, then ask them about it in a more private setting like at home and where others can’t hear (you never know when someone else is listening). Remember, though, that if you are going to talk to them, wait till your mind isn’t clouded with emotions, and don’t bring up things from the way in the past unless it’s relevant or they brought those issues into the conversation!
16.Always keep your cool while talking to this person. Your anger will make them feel defensive, leading to an argument or, worse, a physical confrontation.
It’s important to be deliberate when you confront a cheating partner. You want to make sure that your intentions are clear while also ensuring the safety of yourself and the relationship. We can help by providing effective steps to tell someone they’re cheating at home, in their workplace, or out with friends.