Not everyone wants to be in a committed relationship, but this does not mean such people do not have feelings. So, you can still be in a relationship that does not tie you down, or instead, you can look for a friend with benefits. As a woman, it can be pretty difficult to ask a guy to be friends with benefits since women are naturally chased and are always afraid of rejection. Nonetheless, it won’t hurt trying your luck with the guy you like. You never know; he may be interested in the same relationship with you.
So, have you seen a guy that you like and are sexually attracted to? Well, this is the perfect article to read. This article will provide a few steps that a woman can use to ask a guy to be friends with benefits. But before that, it is crucial to note that you may not get positive feedback from the guy you like. In this case, have an open mind regarding the answer that you may receive from the guy.
Figure out why do you want this kind of relationship
This is the first question you need to ask yourself before you even begin to look for that guy. As mentioned earlier, some people are not interested in a committed relationship due to their work nature that will not allow them to have stable relationships. Some people may vow not to have a serious relationship due to the experience they have had previously. Regardless, we all need some love and someone to satisfy our flesh needs.
Keeping in mind why you need such a relationship helps you tame your expectations and understand what you will get from that relationship. Considering it is not a committed relationship, the guy may stop the encounters whenever he wants to find someone to settle down with. Also, you need to lower your expectations from the other party since you are not committed to each other. This way, you will avoid problems and misunderstandings in the future.
He should be your friend first
The next crucial thing on our note is understanding the person you pick to have this relationship with. It has to be someone you know well, interact with before, and get along ideally. A friend or someone you have known for a while is the best person to have friends with benefits relationship since you two don’t have deep feelings for each other. It could be someone you flirt with or hang out with but have never thought of dating.
This is crucial since you need someone you are on the same page with. After all, the last thing you need is the person to get too attached to you and vice versa. You also need someone you trust to keep the relationship secret and better than a friend you are involved with. The bottom line is to pick someone who has the same goal regarding the relationship.
Understand your relationship first
Yes, the guy may be hot, have all the qualities you are looking for, and the best choice for you; but you need to ask yourself if you two get along. Yes, you are not guaranteed to be happy all the time, but choose someone who does not stay mad for long and someone who understands you well and vice versa.
Besides, the last thing you want is drama and chaos with someone you are not even in a serious relationship with. Friends with benefits type of relationship should be with someone who brings peace and excitement in your life.
Ensure you don’t have any romantic relationship with
This is where most people go wrong when choosing a person for friends with benefits relationship. Some people break up with their exes and start this kind of relationship to stay in contact. But it can be damaging and draining, mainly if you have feelings for the guy.
Remember, as we stated earlier, friends with benefits relationship should be with a person you are sure that you cannot fall in love and cannot fall in love with you. So, yes, choose someone you are sexually attracted to, but not someone you have a had relationship with. No feelings should ever be attached in such a relationship whatsoever as it can cause a rift between the two parties.
Be straight forward
Once you have underlined all the above factors and have that guy in mind, the next step is to approach him. You need to be straightforward regarding what you want from the guy to avoid confusion.
For example, if you start showing the guy compliments, he may feel like you have feelings for him or you want to invite him for a date. So, don’t beat around the bush and tell him straight to his face what you want from him.
Remember, this is not a serious relationship, and one of you may opt-out if they want to settle or focus on another relationship. So, why bring in drama in such cases? If you or your partner finds someone else, it is crucial to be open and discuss it. For example, if the friend wants to opt-out and focuses on his new relationship, allow him to do so without causing drama. Also, there should be open communication between the two of you.
The other thing you need to be open about is your meetings; do you want to go on dates as a “couple,” or you want strictly to keep your relationship hidden. The last thing you want is for people to start speculating about you two dating as it may jeopardize your chances of meeting new people. So, discuss this with the friend to make sure you have a good understanding.
Give reasons for choosing him
The guy will want to know why you have chosen him and why you want to be in such a “situation-ship” with him. Besides, you want someone to have fun with and nothing more. So, giving your reasons to the guy helps him understand you better and be on the same page.
Are you sexually attracted to him, or you find him as the best fit considering you have known each other for a long time. All these are the details you need to tell him to avoid any confusion in the future.
You both need to be on the same page, and this can only be possible if you set some rules that you both should follow. This is not a public relationship that you need other people to know about, and it is not guaranteed to be long-term. So, each one of you should have boundaries, and each part should respect them.
For example, none of you should randomly show up at each other’s house without notice. Also, if you see other people, you need to make sure they don’t know you have other relationships outside. You need to decide on where and when to meet and the time for a meeting. This is not a severe or normal relationship, and thus, having some rules is allowed.
Keep the old friendship intact
If you have been friends for a long time, you don’t want your mutual friends to speculate anything. So, to make sure your relationship is secure, go on with your old life. Are you used to hang out with your friends or attend parties with that friend? Make sure to follow your old friendship routine.
But, make sure to differentiate between your sexual relationship and friendship. When in other places, act normal and be the good friend you have been. If the other partner comes with a date, respect that and mind your business.
Who else should know?
We all have that one special friend we tell everything that goes on in our lives. However, the friend with benefit may not be comfortable about the two of you telling other people about your relationship.
Still, you may be seeing someone who stays with a roommate who is bound to know about your situation. So, you must talk about the third party who should know about your relationship to avoid confusion.
Speak about the end of the relationship
You are not guaranteed that this relationship arrangement will last for long or forever. So, you need to talk about this earlier when you begin seeing each other. It does not matter how long you both want the relationship to last; once any of you want out, the other party should be ready to let go and respect the decision. This is one reason you need to have rules and common ground regarding the kind of relationship they both have.
Note that as you speak about the end of a relationship, you also need to talk about your relationship afterward. Meaning, will both of you still be friends or want to take some time off. Things may get a bit weird between the two of you after stopping your relations; hence, the need to stay apart for a while.
Having a friend with benefits can be fun if you understand the relationship well and choose the right guy. If you have spotted a guy to who you are sexually attracted and feel he has the same goal, these are guides to help you approach him. Choose someone you know well and someone who is not romantically interested in you.