Love and relationships aren’t always easy. In a perfect world, the person you are interested in will feel the same way at the same time, and you will live happily ever after. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world, and love and relationships can be complicated.
Many successful romantic relationships start with friendships. If you can go from friends to lovers, great. However, there are times when you want to be more than friends with someone, but they aren’t ready. If you are interested in a guy who says they want to be friends, for now, it can be very confusing.
Why Does He Want To Be Just Friends For Now?
If the guy you are interested in tells you that he wants to remain just friends, for now, you are going to want to know why. There are a couple of reasons why he is saying this.
The first and best possible scenario is that he was recently in a relationship, and he isn’t ready to start something new with you. He could also have been hurt so badly in his relationship that he isn’t ready to put himself out there.
The second scenario isn’t ideal. The guy you are interested in might not be into you the same way, which is why he wants to be friends. He could be using the “for now” part to keep from hurting your feelings.
A few other reasons include:
You aren’t his type.
He’s interested in someone else.
He thinks you are too good for him.
You haven’t let him see the real you.
Either way, hearing that your love interest wants to be only friends, for now, can be painful and frustrating. If you want to try to get him to be ready to take things to the next level, there are a few things that you can do.
#1 Stop Being At His Beckoned Call
When you are really into a guy, it isn’t uncommon to put him on the front burner, even if you are just friends. When he sends you a text, you respond immediately. When he posts a picture on Facebook or Instagram, you like and comment on it immediately. When he wants to do something on a Friday night, you drop everything to make plans with him.
If your guy told you that he just wants to be friends, for now, you need to put him on the back burner, as hard as it might seem. When he texts, wait at least an hour before responding. When he posts new photos on social media, stop commenting on them. If he calls you at the last minute on a Friday wanting to make plans, tell him that you are busy.
If you do all of the things that a girlfriend does without the title, he has no reason to take the leap and become a couple. When you stop being at his beckoned call, he will get a taste of life where he isn’t your number one, and he might not like it too much. If this is the case, he will be more willing to make things official because he misses all of the attention.
#2 Expand Your Circle
Now that you aren’t at his beckoned call and he isn’t taking up all of your time, you will have a chance to expand your social circle. When you start going out and having fun with new friends, you need to tell him. The best-case scenario is that he will get a little jealous that you are out doing things and your world no longer revolves around him. This jealousy might be just what he needed to realize that he wants to be more than friends.
The only way that this will work is if you are sure to let him know what you have been doing when he isn’t around. You can talk about the fun you are having without him when the two of you talk. If you want to really get his attention, post pictures of your fun times with new friends on your social media.
#3 Be Mysterious
If you have been telling your love interest everything, you need to stop now. When he asks you how you spent your weekend, be vague. This will make him wonder what is going on in your life that you don’t want him to know. The more you hold back, the more he will want to know. A little bit of mystery can get his attention in a positive way.
#4 Ask Him For Help
All guys love to feel needed, whether they admit it or not. When you first become interested in a guy, your first instinct will be to do sweet things for him. If you have been doing this and are still in the friend zone, it is time to change your strategy. Rather than doing things for him, ask him to help you out. You can ask for simple favors like help with a minor home repair or putting air in your tires. When your guy feels needed by you, it can change the way he feels. When you ask your love interest for help, he will become invested in you instead of you investing in them.
#5 Stop Acting Like His Friend
One of the reasons that your love interest wants to be just friends could be that you are acting like a friend or one of the guys. When you are spending time together, don’t tease him the way his friends do. Also, avoid using the word “bro” when talking to him. When he asks you to do something, don’t wear a pair of jeans and an old t-shirt. Instead, get dressed up with your hair done and makeup. When he sees that you aren’t just one of the guys, there is a chance that he will want to be more than friends.
#6 Don’t Nag Him
If your love interest has already told you that he just wants to be friends, for now, let it go for a while. The last thing you want to do is to keep asking and being a nag. If you do this, he will see it as a preview of what life would be like if you were his girlfriend, and a nag is the last thing that any guy wants.
It is best to give it some time and see how things play out. As hard as it is not to ask why he doesn’t want to be more than friends daily, it will do more harm than good. You shouldn’t bring up the conversation again until you see a shift in his attitude toward you.
#7 Start Flirting
Nothing makes a guy feel more special than some good old-fashioned flirting. Just because he just wants to be friends, for now, it doesn’t mean that you can remind him from time to time that you want more. If you have trouble flirting, don’t worry. You don’t need to be an expert to get his attention. A few simple techniques that will get his attention include:
Touching his shoulder or leg while talking
Smile when you see him. He will melt when your smile lights up the room.
Ask him questions about himself.
Use humor to make him laugh.
Compliment him, but don’t go overboard.
Flirting could work, but only in small doses. If you go overboard, it can become annoying. If you flirt with him some days and not others, it will keep him guessing, making him more attracted to you.
If you try the tips listed above and your love interest finally wants to be more than friends, great. However, you can only sit around waiting for him to change his mind for so long. If you have tried every trick in the book and he still just wants to be friends, it is time to throw in the towel and move on. If you finally realize that there is no hope you might have to slow down on the friendship quite a bit. The more time you spend with him, the harder it will be to get over him and move on. As much as you value one another’s friendships, you will need to take a step back for a while. When you are ready to scale back on the friendship, you don’t want to ghost him. Instead, be completely honest about why you need to spend some time apart. Let him know that being just friends isn’t enough, and you need some space and time to get over him. You should also reach out to friends and support to keep you busy and start focusing on yourself. Now that all of your time isn’t devoted to making him love you, you will have plenty of time to do things that will make you happy and improve yourself.
If you want to be more than friends with a guy, but he doesn’t feel the same, don’t give up right away. First, follow the tips listed above. If after a few months nothing has changed, it is time to let it go. After telling your love interest how you feel and that you need some time apart, he might realize what he is missing and come back. If not, don’t let it get you down. Some people just weren’t meant to be, and your true love is still out there waiting.